Friday, December 7, 2007

Home again (or for the first time)

Katherine and Lyla were discharged yesterday. We spent the morning packing up and making sure we have all of the information we will ever need to know about raising a child. Fortunately someone was able to combine it all into one single worksheet, should be smooth sailing.

We got home around noon, turned the heat back on (it was 55 degrees in the house), said hello to Dr. Jones (who's doing well, slightly curious but keeping his distance). I don't really remember what we did the rest of the day. I know I ran some errands. I held the baby a lot. Last night we caught up on TV shows and then spent the night taking turns being semi-awake with Lyla. When you have a baby, there is a lot written and said about sleepless nights. Like most things with this pregnancy and birth, I understood the information presented to me (of course I'm going to not get a lot of sleep) but I had a difficult time putting it into context and really anticipating what it would be like. I will say this, despite the fact that I did not sleep until 5 am last night (except for 10 minute stints while holding Lyla), it's worth it. Katherine and I are figuring out how to strike a balance and trade off so that we both can get some sleep. I feel bad because Katherine has to wake up to feed Lyla whenever the little girl is hungry, so she can't take a break. (We've decided to try to exclusively breastfeed the first six months of Lyla's life. We're convicted by what we've learned about the superiority of breastmilk over formula, information that I actually learned while working on a project for a infant formula manufacturer at my last job. Obviously, there are other factors that go into Lyla's feeding and I wouldn't be surprised if circumstances influence what we do more than ideals, but for now it's the choice we've made.)

Another observation about parenting (or parenting preparation), all parents are self-righteous, it's hard not to be. I think you get caught between the emotions of being really really scared because you see how fragile and delicate your baby is, and you get overwhelmed by all of the different elements (and multitudes of varying and often contradictory opinions about how to manage each of those elements) of developing, birthing, and caring for a child, that you grab onto what seems right and (as you spend more time with the baby), what works for you child. Anyway, I already feel self-righteous (see previous paragraph) but the reality of the situation is that only God can perfectly provide for this child and shape her life. Understanding and believing that helps to replace those two emotions with peace and emboldens me and fills me with a true confidence about my ability to raise this child. And I hope that when you look back on all of the choices Katherine and I make when raising Lyla (and any other children we're blessed with), our faith in God is reflected.

And now for the pictures - Getting ready to go home.